What good sex means to Indian women
Women have sex for the same reasons men do. Because they can. And then some. Here??s a sneaky cure for the ??headache?? epidemic.
Basic instincts are anything but basic. If the book Why Women Have Sex by clinical psychologist Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist David Buss is to be believed, women and sex have almost nothing to do with love. They have, however, found 237 other reasons. If you thought women were complicated earlier, good luck stroking this one.
After over a thousand interviews, Meston and Buss have managed to fashion a nuanced portrait of female sexuality. Sexual motivations for women are wide ranging ?? using sex as a defensive tactic against a mate??s infidelity (protection); a ploy to boost self-confidence (status); a barter for gifts or household chores (resource acquisition); a cure for a migraine (medication). Somewhere, love finds a mention.
So the question is what makes women tick? Why are Clooney and Saif (for us) and Dilip Kumar (for our mothers) still our mental go-to guys?
Like it or not, it has little to do with your tailored suit and suave haircut and more to do with your genetic disposition and complimentary MHC (Major histo-compatibility) gene complex. In man-speak, that means, she wants you because you??re loaded with what biologists call ??genetic benefits?? and ??resource benefits.?? Genetically speaking, you??re the bees knees and any kids produced out of this union will be prime quality. As for resource benefits, let??s just say, she married you for the house, the car, the club membership and your ability to protect the aforementioned healthy offspring.
This also explains why certain balding, potbellied men find takers sooner than their well-bodied, charming counterparts. Women are known to give brownie points to loyalty and his ability to provide for the family and not just his ability to spread quality spawn.
According to studies conducted by International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria, how women select their mate finds merit in the Darwinian theory of survival of the fittest. It can be annoying, but the study states that picky women are actually the key to survival and biodiversity. For example, if all women universally liked tall men, short men would be headed for extinction, or men with small feet would find no place in the world.
As for women in ??love??, it can be translated into ?? security, I won??t find anyone like him, good father material, apt provider, self confidence. Carnal sexual motivation however, has more options ?? Revenge, envy, jealousy, money, barter, guilt, punishment, duty, loyalty, a lesson on loyalty, power and domination, to sometimes, pure evil. In effect, they use sex to express love, and to get it, and to try and keep it.
What good sex means to women in Mumbai
Shobha De, in one of her observations about sex years ago, had said that earlier women just hitched up their sarees, closed their eyes and thought about Dilip Kumar. Has the scenario changed in urban India as increasingly more women find themselves freed from the shackles of guilt as far as getting some good, therapeutic action goes?
We spoke to women between the ages of 20-40 and found that while love was a high priority for women, there were several other interesting reasons that prompted them to sleep with men who may not be their knight-in-shining armour. Here are some of the factors that motivate Mumbai??s feisty ladies for that spontaneous quickie or a roll in the hay??
Late bloomers
A 26-year-old young entrepreneur giggled as she confessed that it was the best birthday gift she had given?? herself. "I was 23 and probably the oldest virgin in the world. At least, that's what it felt like then," she says. "I really wanted to know what I was missing out on." Young women feel the peer pressure if they are the last to be clutching on to their hymens in their group, even if unwillingly. Virginity is finally losing its spot on the pedestal as the greatest gift you can give to someone you love.
Dog training
A large number of the women surveyed also described sex as a tool for 'dog training'. Train the penis, and the man will follow, seemed to be the general philosophy.
A 30-year-old banker said she withheld sex in her marriage when she was displeased, and used it when she was in a pliant mood. "It helps to have owned dogs all your life," she jokes.
Women who want to keep the power in the relationship learn to excel at this very quickly.
Security
A 27-year-old entrepreneur said that her first marriage wasn't promising in terms of sex, but her husband had the right credentials. But in her second marriage, she is crazy about her man even if she earns more than him and he won't fit the bracket of the 'provider'. Other women felt that sex wasn't as important in the larger scheme of things. A good home and status was enough to keep a good marriage going.
Because it's there
When we asked a 27-year-old stylist about her motivations for sex, she asked i